How Tolkien Sucks

How Tolkien Sucks No one in The Lord of the Rings can say so much as hand me that spoon without risking a response like Do you mean Fobulir the Spoon of Dessert Forged in Glomiel during the reign of Hothemor this sp

  • Title: How Tolkien Sucks
  • Author: David Ellis Dickerson
  • ISBN: null
  • Page: 473
  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • No one in The Lord of the Rings can say so much as hand me that spoon without risking a response like, Do you mean Fobulir, the Spoon of Dessert Forged in Glomiel during the reign of Hothemor, this spoon has ferried rich custards to the beards of kings and dwarves, and all sing of its unparalleled elegance of curvature Use it with care, my friend gladly do I give it No one in The Lord of the Rings can say so much as hand me that spoon without risking a response like, Do you mean Fobulir, the Spoon of Dessert Forged in Glomiel during the reign of Hothemor, this spoon has ferried rich custards to the beards of kings and dwarves, and all sing of its unparalleled elegance of curvature Use it with care, my friend gladly do I give it I don t know what things cost in Middle Earth, but I bet everyone s paying too much Decades after first being told he should love The Lord of the Rings, this longsuffering geek has had enough In How Tolkien Sucks, humorist and This American Life contributor David Ellis Dickerson does a hilarious takedown of Tolkien s masterpiece, proving, in meticulous detail and with withering commentary, that Tolkien s utter awfulness on damn near every level is a matter of mathematical provability The fake Biblical dialogue the surprisingly thin characters the horrible pacing the illogic of there even being a One Ring all get put under a microscope and checked against Tolkien s reputation for genius You may never read the Lord of the Rings trilogy in quite the same way again But that s okay As Dickerson says, I have nothing against guilty pleasures.All I m trying to do is make Tolkienists realize that they should feel guiltier than they do You re welcome.

    One thought on “How Tolkien Sucks”

    1. Before we begin, there are a couple of things to notice about the title of this essay. First, it's inaccurate: this essay doesn't cover all of Tolkien's writings, only the Lord of the Rings. This casual approach to accuracy surfaces in the essay itself, to its detriment. Second, the tone of the title is smart-ass and would-be humorous; and so is the essay itself.There's a lot of exaggeration in this essay. For example, Dickerson says in his introduction that 'Tolkien's utter awfulness on damn ne [...]

    Leave a Reply

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *